Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
