Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
