Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
