google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
