Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
