Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
