I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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