He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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