Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
