just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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