just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
