we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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