is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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