I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
