I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
