Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
