Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
