I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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