my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
