Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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