Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
