i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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