Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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