Where did you get a picture of my penis
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We just shotgunned beers for America
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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