I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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