And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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