dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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