hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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