It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
