Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
