what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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