Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
