you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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