Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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