She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
