i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
