did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
