His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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