He is an equal opportunity slut.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
