You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
