You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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