She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need a beard to bite.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
