Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
