We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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