I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
