I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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