i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
