I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
