I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
