So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
where am i from again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
